So, you’re getting married. You have the ring; you’ve set the date, now all you need to do is the fun stuff. Pick your gown, choose you’re decor and select your bridesmaids.
Ahhh, isn’t life a dream?
Well, until one of your best friends announces she’s also set the date for her wedding, only weeks before you!
Does Bride Wars ring a bell? Well don’t fret, there are a few things you can do to ensure that you can both enjoy and embrace each other’s weddings without straining your friendship:
Talk it out
Similar to any relationship it is vital to communicate. Before tension arises sit down together and talk about your feelings, plans, and concerns. This is the time to be brutally honest and nut out any potential issues that could cause conflict.
This is also a good time to establish any ‘rules’ for you both to follow. Here are a few ideas which could save your sanity and friendship:
1. Time between weddings:
Now unless you are planning to walk down the aisle on the same weekend then time between weddings may not seem like a major drama. However there are several things to consider. Do you have the same group of friends who will be attending? Will you be choosing the same bridesmaids? Do you really want to attend each other’s wedding? If you answer yes to any of these questions then it is important to leave some distance between wedding dates, if not for yourselves then at least for the sake of your guests!
Some people will find it a struggle on their hip pocket to buy two wedding presents (and two new dresses) at the same time. Plus if you want to attend your friend’s wedding then it might be tough if one of you are on your honeymoon when the other walks down the aisle.
Now it will get tricky if you both plan on a destination wedding (and yes, this does happen!) This is when you really will need to consider your guests and leave at least 6-12 months between each wedding. Especially when you consider your guests bank balances, jobs (especially teachers who only get a break in school holidays), other holiday plans, pregnancies and babies. If your weddings are too close together then it might become a case of choose a wedding by your guests, which would be tough on everyone!
Now the last thing I’m sure you want is for your wedding to become a competition. After all, this is the event of a lifetime and you don’t need anyone overshadowing it. To avoid a wedding day competition it is also crucial you organise your weddings for different seasons. This is a great idea because it will give you both a few months in between wedding dates and the different seasons could also mean different colour pallets, different outfits, different décor (especially if one has a black and white theme in winter, and the other a pastel pallet for a summer wedding).
Plus, who doesn’t want to be the centre of attention? If you plan your wedding day too close to a friend’s then people will be talking about both your weddings; now who wants that!
3. Judging/ gossiping
Of course you want everyone talking about your wedding, but not necessarily about you. Unfortunately one of the things you want to avoid is being the centre of attention in a negative way. Girls will be girls and a wedding day clash will give some of your female friends more than enough ammunition to start gossiping. Ensure you remain positive and upbeat about your wedding planning and about your friends’ special day too.
There is no reason why you both can’t get together and organise your events over a glass of wine. In fact if handled right, it could become more fun than just planning your own wedding!